*Constant crying causes ear loss.*
*Holding a crying baby causes back problems and ear loss.*
*Holding a crying baby with another middle child crying added in causes back pain, ear loss and insanity.*
*3 kids under age of 4 causes sleepless nights and hair pulling days full of "no", "stop that", "you need to share or else all the toys are going in the basement" to which my daughter usually replies back with "go ahead, we don't want to play any more anyways."*
Sometimes I just do not understand how the mom on "19 and Counting" does it. She talks in hushed tones and is forever patient. I am constantly screaming and yelling and my kids are picking up on this.
Whenever we USED to (past tense) hit/smack/spank our kids for their misbehavior, it showed my kids that in anger it was OK to hit others also. So I stopped. I did not want my kids to learn that. My patience seems to have flew out the window these days. I feel like I snap so easily and its affecting my health.
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice. Show all posts
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Potty Training
Today I started potty training my son, Billy again after a 3 month break. The last time I tried was on his birthday, September 9th. Me and my friend S are having a competition to see who can potty train their son first. Billy and S's son are a month apart. He started training about a month or so ago on the portable potty. I don't have a portable potty or any potty. He is using the grown up toilet. So many times through out the day he was like he has to do number 2 and I put him on the toilet. Nothing. He just grunts and says he's done. This is how the day basically went:
11:40 He drank some OJ
11:50 Put on toilet
12:20 put on toilet
12:35 peed on carpet
1:13 Peed on bed
2:00 Drank water
2:25 Peed on carpet
5:40 Drank water
Between 5:40 and 8:10 he did not go or do anything at all. I was surprised he held it in for so long.
Finally, the miracle of all miracles, the moment I have been waiting for since I started this: He felt he had to go. He was like, "mom, I have to pee." Being hopeful I walked with him to the bathroom. He peed!!! in the toilet!!!
As Super why characters would say at the end of their stories: Hip!Hip!Hooray!!
Me and my kids also viewed Once Upon a Potty and various videos from PullUps Potty Project.
11:40 He drank some OJ
11:50 Put on toilet
12:20 put on toilet
12:35 peed on carpet
1:13 Peed on bed
2:00 Drank water
2:25 Peed on carpet
5:40 Drank water
Between 5:40 and 8:10 he did not go or do anything at all. I was surprised he held it in for so long.
Finally, the miracle of all miracles, the moment I have been waiting for since I started this: He felt he had to go. He was like, "mom, I have to pee." Being hopeful I walked with him to the bathroom. He peed!!! in the toilet!!!
As Super why characters would say at the end of their stories: Hip!Hip!Hooray!!
Me and my kids also viewed Once Upon a Potty and various videos from PullUps Potty Project.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Cry if I want to...
I just read an article that said that tears are actually good for you health. In the article:
"Biochemist William Frey, who is known for studying, of all things, tears (what a job!), has discovered some pretty interesting things about tears. This little tidbit from Divine Caroline caught my eye:
"Emotional tears--those formed in distress or grief--contained more toxic byproducts than tears of irritation (think onion peeling). Are tears toxic then? No! They actually remove toxins from our body that build up courtesy of stress. They are like a natural therapy or massage session, but they cost a lot less!""
I;m getting really good at holding back my tears in front of others. Living with 3 men has taught me I better not appear weepy like all the time. When my mil came to the US for the first time a couple of years, I would cry out of the blue over something hubby had said. I'd save it all up and just start bawling. I think I scared her a couple of times too. It got pretty ugly. like this image ugly:
She would ask whats wrong? I'd be like nothing. Sometimes you want a good cry without everyone in your face.
"Biochemist William Frey, who is known for studying, of all things, tears (what a job!), has discovered some pretty interesting things about tears. This little tidbit from Divine Caroline caught my eye:
"Emotional tears--those formed in distress or grief--contained more toxic byproducts than tears of irritation (think onion peeling). Are tears toxic then? No! They actually remove toxins from our body that build up courtesy of stress. They are like a natural therapy or massage session, but they cost a lot less!""
I;m getting really good at holding back my tears in front of others. Living with 3 men has taught me I better not appear weepy like all the time. When my mil came to the US for the first time a couple of years, I would cry out of the blue over something hubby had said. I'd save it all up and just start bawling. I think I scared her a couple of times too. It got pretty ugly. like this image ugly:
She would ask whats wrong? I'd be like nothing. Sometimes you want a good cry without everyone in your face.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Eid Mubarak
Eid Mubarak to all a day later. :-) This year was the first year that I recall Eid being on a Black Friday. Me, hubby and younger bil went furniture shopping for our new house. We bought a black leather sofa with loveseat and recliner. The bedroom set took longer because we did not know what we were looking for. In the end we decided on the Venezia Collection, pictured below.
A few of the runner ups are pictured below. I really wanted a canopy bed that would fit in my room and not be swallowed by the room. These were fabulous but too big for my house and room. I am happy with the decision. :-)
In our living room, we went with black leather sofa. This is the picture that I could find closest to our buy.
Now the question is what color paint would look good with black leather sofa and the bedroom set?
A few of the runner ups are pictured below. I really wanted a canopy bed that would fit in my room and not be swallowed by the room. These were fabulous but too big for my house and room. I am happy with the decision. :-)
In our living room, we went with black leather sofa. This is the picture that I could find closest to our buy.
Now the question is what color paint would look good with black leather sofa and the bedroom set?
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Advice concerning the husband
I was once reading a book and a father was giving his daughter advice on her wedding night on what to expect in the marriage and these are his words:
‘Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.
‘The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one’s husband pleases Allah.
‘The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.
‘The fifth and the sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.
‘The seventh and eighth of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.
‘The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.
‘Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.
‘The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one’s husband pleases Allah.
‘The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; he should not see anything ugly in you, and he should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best kind of beautification to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.
‘The fifth and the sixth of them are: prepare his food on time, and keep quiet when he is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing his sleep will make him angry.
‘The seventh and eighth of them are: take care of his servants (or employees) and children, and take care of his wealth, for taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of his children and servants shows good management.
‘The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of his secrets, and never disobey any of his orders, for if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred towards you.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Epiphany!
Did you ever experience headaches to the point that they followed you to bed? I try to dump everything out of my head into the blog or journals before sleeping. If that does not work I try to talk it out with my friends or sisters or anyone willing to listen. Last night I had an epiphany so great that my sleeping head-throbbing-dream-stealing-headache went away. I talk to my self in my head. Like have conversations. This one was about how the things beyond my control. I cannot control how people behave towards me. I cannot control how many kids Allah will give me. There are many people in my family who believe that I can. Birth control only works so much.
So back to my epiphany. I was saying to myself that even though I had 3 kids in 4 years, Allah knew best my limit. He gave me what I could handle. Even after learning that after a C-section you should wait a full 2 years before getting pregnant. I did not. I had 2 more kids without break.
When I mentally accepted that "Allah knows best", my headache simply disappeared and I had the best sleep ever. This headache when going to sleep started on September 28, 2009 when a close childhood friend died at the hands of her husband. I have been constantly thinking about my own mortality. That I could breathe my last any moment. Would I be ready to meet Allah? Have I repented all that I could? Have I made up the fasts and prayers that I missed (due to travel and menses).
As a human being we are made with flaws and it is up to us to accept these flaws. No one is perfect. Allah is the only perfect one. So to try be in all that we do is just impossible. When we realize and ponder over that our lives will become much easier and it will be much easier to breathe. To seek perfection is impossible. Even when searching for "the perfect mate". He/she does not exist. You have to mold each other into the person you want to be.
So have you had any epiphanies lately?
So back to my epiphany. I was saying to myself that even though I had 3 kids in 4 years, Allah knew best my limit. He gave me what I could handle. Even after learning that after a C-section you should wait a full 2 years before getting pregnant. I did not. I had 2 more kids without break.
When I mentally accepted that "Allah knows best", my headache simply disappeared and I had the best sleep ever. This headache when going to sleep started on September 28, 2009 when a close childhood friend died at the hands of her husband. I have been constantly thinking about my own mortality. That I could breathe my last any moment. Would I be ready to meet Allah? Have I repented all that I could? Have I made up the fasts and prayers that I missed (due to travel and menses).
As a human being we are made with flaws and it is up to us to accept these flaws. No one is perfect. Allah is the only perfect one. So to try be in all that we do is just impossible. When we realize and ponder over that our lives will become much easier and it will be much easier to breathe. To seek perfection is impossible. Even when searching for "the perfect mate". He/she does not exist. You have to mold each other into the person you want to be.
So have you had any epiphanies lately?
Monday, November 16, 2009
Quotes about forgivness...
I was going through my old post to see how much I have changed over the year. Its been quite eye opening. As I was going through one post I found these quotes I'd like to share that I got from Kareer Woman:
“It's not the strongest of the species that survives, nor most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”
"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and still expecting different results."
"There comes a point in your life when you realize:
Who matters, Who never did, Who won't anymore..
And who always will. So, don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future."
"LIFE is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So, LOVE the people who treat you RIGHT, FORGET about the ones who DON'T and believe that everything HAPPENS for a REASON. If you GET a chance, TAKE it. If it CHANGES your life, LET it. NOBODY said that it'd be EASY, they just PROMISED it would be WORTH it."
"It is what it is."
“It's not the strongest of the species that survives, nor most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.”
"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and still expecting different results."
"There comes a point in your life when you realize:
Who matters, Who never did, Who won't anymore..
And who always will. So, don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future."
"LIFE is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So, LOVE the people who treat you RIGHT, FORGET about the ones who DON'T and believe that everything HAPPENS for a REASON. If you GET a chance, TAKE it. If it CHANGES your life, LET it. NOBODY said that it'd be EASY, they just PROMISED it would be WORTH it."
"It is what it is."
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Middle Child Syndrome
Or should I refer it to the kid who cries alot. He wants attention, I get it but he cries for everything. He cries when his food spills over (twice today with strawberry oatmeal and cap'n crunch cereal). He cries because his sister is putting on diapers that resemble his baby brothers. He cries because he wants a nap but not now. He cries because well mostly because he wants attention on himself. My favorite reason as to which he cries which is unanimous in my household is because he has no reason. Of course he has a reason but because he does not have the words for it yet he cannot tell you.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Parenting
It is nearing 11:30 pm and I should go to sleep early. My middle child does not sleep without me and is still awake. The funny thing will be that he will go to sleep really late and still be up and energized at 8 am when all I want to do is sleep in.
The irony of it all.
They say (other parents is what I'm guessing) is that the first 5 years of childhood is the hardest and if you can get over that, the rest will be a breeze. So that means I have until 2014 for my life to get easier.
I will hang in there. (only because I have to and have no choice.
The irony of it all.
They say (other parents is what I'm guessing) is that the first 5 years of childhood is the hardest and if you can get over that, the rest will be a breeze. So that means I have until 2014 for my life to get easier.
I will hang in there. (only because I have to and have no choice.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Stop Screaming already!
My son is screaming his head off for his grandma, uncle, dad, anyone to come and rescue him from what I have no clue. He wants to take his mini broom outside and sweep. Today's my birthday and my brain is fuzzy from eating ice cream.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Sunday Siesta
Is there anyone out in the real world that is truly happy with the way they are? I mean physically, mentally, emotionally? It seems the more you think about it the more the answer is truly NO! People are constantly changing their eyes, hair, nose, boobs and everything in between. When was the last time you said, "Dammit, I don't care any more what you think. I am happy with being me!" For me it was never but I never knew how good I had it until I had kids. Kids make you appreciate things more. Free time. Reading. Nature. Going somewhere unplanned. and the best one of all sleeping in. Boy, do I miss that!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Leave the Past behind you
This past weekend was super busy and crazy. We got home late last night that I could post anything. I should have before we went out. but past is past. and I'm just super tired today from all the screaming and crying I had to do with my kids.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Just another saturday....
Do you ever listen to a song over and over because it depresses you? Well the song does not really depress me but reminds me of another time and place. This is so deja vu because I mentioned this song only a couple days ago but its still playing over and over.
I am home alone with 2 kids (mine) in my mom's house for a day. I was thinking not only do I clean up after everyone at home but now with everyone gone to Canada for the day, I have to clean up after everyone in my mom's house and she's not even home. I'm so sorry for this pity fest going on this weekend. Inshallah it will get better. Just do not know when.
My daughter reminded me of all the flashing lights and helicopter that she saw last night. This helicopter was hovering and flashing its light and two police cars stopping a car at an intersection. It was crazy! My daughter is terrified of police cars. I blame that on people who scare little kids. She gets freaked out by bugs and anything resembling bugs (bawled up pieces of string, plants, anything!) Now with my son I'm trying not to use any scaring tactics to make him behave. What cruel person would do that to their kid just so the kids would do what they are told? No kid ever always does what he/she is told.
The more that I think about what kind of house I want, the more my mind settles on ranches. The houses that do not have two levels (minus the basement). With kids I do not want to be watching if they are falling down the stairs or what they are doing on another level in the house. In front of me or near me is OK as long as they are visible. My mom's house is four stories. Attic, basement, floor with kitchen and living/dining room, and the floor with bedrooms only. Just the cleaning of it is taking all morning. My bird house that I live in takes about a couple of hours to tidy up whenever I need to. That's it, just two hours! Also big houses have lots of noise and creaks that you get spooked out fast! I sure do.
I am home alone with 2 kids (mine) in my mom's house for a day. I was thinking not only do I clean up after everyone at home but now with everyone gone to Canada for the day, I have to clean up after everyone in my mom's house and she's not even home. I'm so sorry for this pity fest going on this weekend. Inshallah it will get better. Just do not know when.
My daughter reminded me of all the flashing lights and helicopter that she saw last night. This helicopter was hovering and flashing its light and two police cars stopping a car at an intersection. It was crazy! My daughter is terrified of police cars. I blame that on people who scare little kids. She gets freaked out by bugs and anything resembling bugs (bawled up pieces of string, plants, anything!) Now with my son I'm trying not to use any scaring tactics to make him behave. What cruel person would do that to their kid just so the kids would do what they are told? No kid ever always does what he/she is told.
The more that I think about what kind of house I want, the more my mind settles on ranches. The houses that do not have two levels (minus the basement). With kids I do not want to be watching if they are falling down the stairs or what they are doing on another level in the house. In front of me or near me is OK as long as they are visible. My mom's house is four stories. Attic, basement, floor with kitchen and living/dining room, and the floor with bedrooms only. Just the cleaning of it is taking all morning. My bird house that I live in takes about a couple of hours to tidy up whenever I need to. That's it, just two hours! Also big houses have lots of noise and creaks that you get spooked out fast! I sure do.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
A walk down memory lane...
I just ran into an semi-old song (5 years ago) that brought back a flood of memories and people to mind. Don't you hate when that happens especially if you're happy where you are? happy with who you're with. I've always been a romantic at heart. I love romance and want more of it in my life but with kids and a working hubby, its nearly impossible. I've always been into romance novels, the Disney "happily ever after" prince charming, and that real life is alot sweeter than the movies.
Boy was I wrong! but hey a girl can dream, right? No matter how delusional those dreams are. Because in life, you never know what can happen.
Boy was I wrong! but hey a girl can dream, right? No matter how delusional those dreams are. Because in life, you never know what can happen.
Friday, May 1, 2009
10 things that give me energy
Sleeping in
Getting naps in the day when I'm tired
Going outside
Sunny days against my face
Time with my hubby
Talking with friends and family
Any change of routine
Reading a good book
Brain dumps in my blog
My kids when they are behaving
Getting naps in the day when I'm tired
Going outside
Sunny days against my face
Time with my hubby
Talking with friends and family
Any change of routine
Reading a good book
Brain dumps in my blog
My kids when they are behaving
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Advice from the heart
Freedom is a privilege, not a right. Just because you are born in a certain country, you are not free. A person is never free from discrimination, oppression, ridicule, mockery or sarcasm (just to name a few). Do these things not hurt a person more mentally and emotionally than physically. A child born onto a couple is given freedom under certain guidelines as described by his/her parents. for example if a child obeys his/her parents, then he/she is given certain privileges such as time out with friends, but if say the child breaks that trust, it is gone forever. when a child breaks a parent's trust or whenever anyone breaks another's trust, it takes twice the amount to regain it. Even if you regain that trust, there is always suspicion of the trust being broken no matter how long how hard a person tries.
Lately I have been thinking more and more about this whole trust issue. The media really does not help at all. Over the weekend a Sunday school teacher was convicted of murder of a young girl. No one knows why she did it. That is the only question the parents want an answer to. Or what about the endless stories in the news about teachers going out or doing more with their own students. That is just sick!
There are stories though that give you hope and make you believe that there are great people in the real world. Like the woman who found a check for the amount of 357,000 dollars and then returned it to its rightful owner. Those stories make you smile especially in this economy when everyone could use a few extra dollars.
Lately I have been thinking more and more about this whole trust issue. The media really does not help at all. Over the weekend a Sunday school teacher was convicted of murder of a young girl. No one knows why she did it. That is the only question the parents want an answer to. Or what about the endless stories in the news about teachers going out or doing more with their own students. That is just sick!
There are stories though that give you hope and make you believe that there are great people in the real world. Like the woman who found a check for the amount of 357,000 dollars and then returned it to its rightful owner. Those stories make you smile especially in this economy when everyone could use a few extra dollars.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
How to achieve a happy life
I have this wonderful book that I read from time to time. It has many wonderful advices for people who need to just deal with life and its ups and downs. There is one selection that can be applied instantly titled, "how to achieve a happy life".
I am basically restating everything from the book here:
"An American psychologist said: Living a happy life is a fine art which entails ten things:
1. Do a work that you love. If you cannot do that, then find a hobby that you love and do it in your spare time and reinforce it.
2. Take care of your health for it is the spirit of happiness. This means being moderate in eating and drinking, exercising regularly and avoiding bad habits.
3. Have a goal in life, for this will give you motivation and energy.
4. Take life as it comes, and accept the bitter and the sweet.
5. Live in the present, with no regret for the past and no anxiety about tomorrow that has not yet come.
6. Think hard about any action or decision, and do not blame anyone else for your decision or its consequences.
7. Look at those who are worse off than you.
8. Have the habit of smiling and being cheerful, and keep company with optimistic people.
9. Strive to make others happy so that you may benefit from the atmosphere of happiness.
10. Make the most of occasions of happiness and joy, and regard them as necessary to renew your own happiness.
I am basically restating everything from the book here:
"An American psychologist said: Living a happy life is a fine art which entails ten things:
1. Do a work that you love. If you cannot do that, then find a hobby that you love and do it in your spare time and reinforce it.
2. Take care of your health for it is the spirit of happiness. This means being moderate in eating and drinking, exercising regularly and avoiding bad habits.
3. Have a goal in life, for this will give you motivation and energy.
4. Take life as it comes, and accept the bitter and the sweet.
5. Live in the present, with no regret for the past and no anxiety about tomorrow that has not yet come.
6. Think hard about any action or decision, and do not blame anyone else for your decision or its consequences.
7. Look at those who are worse off than you.
8. Have the habit of smiling and being cheerful, and keep company with optimistic people.
9. Strive to make others happy so that you may benefit from the atmosphere of happiness.
10. Make the most of occasions of happiness and joy, and regard them as necessary to renew your own happiness.
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