Mother of the Year Award

When I became a mom, I never wanted the honor or title of being the world's most wonderful mother who raised the most perfect kids. I wanted kids who are independent and can think for themselves. I always set high standards for my kids who are 4, 2 and 1. The youngest just turned 1 on July 6 and understands a lot of what I say.

My parents, especially my dad set a high standard for us always. He wanted us to learn and be our best though he encouraged us in different ways. When someone tells you "no" you want something even more. When life and school was hard, my parents told me to quit and that drove me more. If it gets to hard, quit. If the test is too much, quit.

We have what we call Nazr, or the evil eye in our culture. If you praise a child too much that child is more likely to slip up or go in the opposite direction. So it would be better not to praise or condone. The best option, silence. Or in my case discouragement. I did not realize what my parents' motive was for discouraging me but today I do.

Being a parent you want your children to figure things out for themselves. They should grow up with skills that will help them in the "real world". Once you leave your home, you are in the real world.

Feeling stuck!

Lately I have been having those days that I feel stuck. As in I want to have goals and achieve them but I do not want to spend any more money. I want to lose weight. I want to bake and decorate cakes. I want to learn to dance (either belly/pole). I just don't know how to ask people for these things because with 3 kids its hard to find time.

Help!

The End.

A line from the movie Stranger than Fiction: "the nature of all tragedies is that the hero dies but the story lives on forever."

I'm an English major. I still have not finished my degree but that is besides the point. I love writing. Give me a topic and a limit and I will fulfill it.

Lately movies seem to be narrated. When was the last time you watched a show or movie that was not narrated? Think real hard. It sucks out the fun. I rather not know what is going on inside Betty's head or Grey's head. The mystery is the fun part. The not knowing.

The only not knowing that's beginning to frighten me lately is the END. Death. Resurrection. The Last Days of this Earth.

With everyone thinking 2012 is the last day, I was thinking, what if it actually was? Would you be prepared? How do you know that you will see the year 2012 or even tomorrow?

G'night everyone....

Some random thoughts...

Insulting someone and apologizing afterwards is an oxymoron. If you meant to insult someone don't apologize for it. It only makes you look like a fool.

Backbiting is when someone talks about someone and if that person were to find out they would be hurt. Backbiting whether done to the back or to the face is still backbiting.

They say that ignorance is bliss because once you find out what others are saying about you behind your back you're miserable.

There is so much pettiness after marriage that it's REEdikULOUS. You would think that it would end. It does not. It only intensifies.

I'm only competing with myself to become a better person and no one else. There is no prize to the housewife if she can cook the best, dress the best or clean the best. There is to be only reward for doing what she can. Just remember everything should be done for the sake of pleasing Allah and only him.

Not a martyr

I will never be a martyr. I do not aspire to be. Being a martyr makes one tired and not feel free. I will never be a martyr. If you say you want to help I will put you to work. I will not try to do everything. I will not pretend to be Superwoman. I am a Human with possibilities and limits and boundaries. I will not be a martyr.

The perfect ending to...

a beautiful day. I just received an award from the awesome Falling up at Symphonic Discord.


"The rules of this award are to write down where you see yourself being in ten years and to then pass this award on to ten people."

1. My kids are older and in school. Inshallah I will be more patient as the years go by.

2. I traveled to Taj Mahal, Paris and did Hajj by then. Inshallah. I want to go to Taj Mahal for our 10 year wedding anniversary.

3. I, too am socially inadequate. My mom and dad can talk to anyone and everyone about anything. I would like to be able to talk to strangers more comfortably.

4. More girls' fun. I want to have a group of women who I surround myself with and we go on yearly cruises and adventures.

5. I want to be able to focus more in prayer and have improved my Tajweed in Quran.

6. I want to be at my ideal weight and stay there.

7. I want to be a college graduate. It irks me whenever I have to mark the box where it states education. So since I did not finish college the highest grade completed for me is high school. It really irks me.

8. I want to be more in love with my husband than I am today. Our seven year itch is next year.

Now I pass it on to...

1. Just a mother of two

2. Journalist Nargis

3. Pages of my Journal

4. Bangladesh Wife

5-10 To any other fellow readers who would like to try this. Let me know and I will be sure to visit. :-)

Son's tantrum

This happened a couple of weeks ago but I forgot to post, so enjoy:

Billy wakes up from sleep. He is hungry. We are having ice cream for dinner. Not the best choice but for a child who just finished a late night nap, anything is good enough not to star a whine fest. So he gets ice cream. He wants more. There is not any extra. I tell him so. He processes it and has a ten minute scream fest that does not end. I just look at him. I say nothing. He continues with his screaming. I ask him, "do you want a hug?". "No!" is his reply. After a while he gets a bowl of Fruity Pebbles with milk. He eats it.

The End.

Until youngest baby starts his scream fest.

Then hubby calls and hangs up because he cannot hear though screaming.

My first lunch through pictures...

Very late

Lately I have been busy with life and trying to find different things to keep occuppied and stay away from boredom. When a person goes out everyday, you get tired of that too. I was out just about every day this week. Groceries, errands, and a two sick kids.

Four hours in the Children's ER and my baby was diagnosed with an ear infection. We got the Amoxicillin and inshallah he will feel better soon.

So what have you all been up to this week? Anything exciting coming up in the near future.

Fuzzy brained

The title says how I'm feeling today. I have learned not to accept praise or critique from anyone. Any time someone comments how well behaved my kids are or how patient I am, it goes hay wire. My kids start misbehaving and hitting each other more. I start screaming more at them for misbehaving and hitting each other.

Other news: our car window, front passenger side, was shattered for the SECOND time in 2 months. I realized it right away after waking up. I kept asking my hubby every half an hour is he waking up. He asked me once, "do you need something?" I said no, I don't. I'm not going to tell him our window is shattered while his sleep is fuzzing his brain. Yeah right! Never! So I noticed the shattered window at 9am. Phoned and told my brother right away. Hubby wakes up 11:30 and is talking. Mil wakes up and goes to bathroom. No one peeks out the window until hubby does at 12:50 pm. He's like, "did you go outside?" Yeah I did. "Did you notice anything? Why is the window flapping?" Oh, by the way someone smashed our window. So he goes out to do some inspecting of the damage. I ran through rain to cover the window in case it poured and damaged the car further. Who wakes up their hubby/wifey with bad news? Its not right.

Mondays are the worst!

I had a great weekend with the hub that it almost felt like we were newlyweds again. Yayyyy! for some "me" time minus the kids and in-laws. I been asking him for this time of me time since I was pregnant and he did not get it at all. We were lounging out in bed with the doors closed just talking about nothing and he fed me ice cold ice cream from months ago that has been sitting in the fridge. I missed that.

My son, Billy, who is the middle child now is slowly adjusting to his new baby brother. He constantly wants to jump around Sal when the lil one just wants to sleep. I cannot wait until they are older and bffl who help each other out. My daughter on the other hand has been angry a lot lately. She gets an attitude with everyone and hits grown people. I do not know what to do with her and her anger issue. Any suggestions?

My older bil who lives with me is easily disgusted by vomit, urine, feces and mucus (snotty noses). If he sees a snotty nose while eating he will stop eating his food and boy, oh boy, I'm stuffy during the winter but I cannot help it. So over the weekend, my son Sal, threw up on older bil and it was a mountain of vomit. The poor guy ran and he himself threw up a mouthful. Then last night we were having dinner and bil and Billy sit next to each other. Bil is eating when Billy decides to vomit on his chair. I rush and clean it up before the guy loses his meal. After its all cleaned up, Billy starts chanting "Vomit! Vomit!...."over and over. I just laugh and carry him away.

baby- day 17

My newborn son has been taking most of days and nights lately that I am getting less sleep. Less sleep in turn means more headaches and less patience. When you add in a crying or two babies, you have me. I even told my friend yesterday on the phone, "his crying ain't even cute any more." She of course just laughed before hanging up.

For Sale!

I think we are nearing the end for our search for the "perfect" house. Its in a neighborhood I would not totally agree with but as I told my hubby "if you're happy, I'm happy". I really do mean it too because I do not want to be the wife who dictates to her husband and makes him bend to her will.

I know of a man who moved in with his in-laws and is still living with them in a two bedroom apartment all because his wife could not live in the same house as where her father in law died. He did not die in the house but in the hospital and she still used that as an excuse. She is a very smart woman who convinced everyone about her NEED to move to NY. She had a house there that her mom bought for her and the economy is getting worse and she could not sell her house for as much as she wanted. All of it total nonsense. His family makes fun of him behind his back and calls him whipped.

The whole point to this post is that Inshallah the longggggggggggg search for the house might be over...will keep you guys updated!

aha moment!

The other day while holding my new baby boy against my chest (the best way to hold a baby ever!) I had an aha moment. I was actually enjoying some free time with my new born. I never was able to do that with the other 2 I had. With my first born I was both in school and working full time and not having much time to see my hubby either. So in other words I was miserable, huge and stressed. With my second born, I was going to school but not working. With my third born I have neither school nor work to worry over. No exams, finals or projects that are looming over my head and I am truly happy! :-)

Monday...

My baby is one week old today almost 45 minutes ago. The day he was born has been etched in my memory even after one week. My thoughts seem scrambled and everywhere. I want to write many things but they are coming out the way I want them to. In my head it makes perfect sense but on the screen I'm questioning myself.

Baby Update

I had my baby boy on July 6, 2009 at 5:10 p.m. He weighed 8 lbs. 4 oz. No drugs. ALL NATURAL. Felt every pain and contraction. cried during entire process but all that pain went away when I seen my lil one :-)

Pregnancy update

I'm a day over. 4th of July came and went and nada. nothing. No baby and that's what everyone is asking about whenever they call. It's frustrating me. One of my hubby's sis in law was like "why aint there no news from you yet. Isn't the reason you took your mom over? Where's the baby?" It's like shut up!!!

I really thought with all my walking and everything I would be ahead of schedule but it did not work that way. Waiting is the hard part because you never know when.

My belly itches so bad nowadays that I wake up in the middle of the night to scratch. Sometimes rubbing oil into the skin helps but not really.

I'm waiting!!

The docs said if I do not deliver by the 11th, then they will induce and perform a C-section while I'm awake. How scary!