Thursday, August 12, 2010

Mother of the Year Award

When I became a mom, I never wanted the honor or title of being the world's most wonderful mother who raised the most perfect kids. I wanted kids who are independent and can think for themselves. I always set high standards for my kids who are 4, 2 and 1. The youngest just turned 1 on July 6 and understands a lot of what I say.

My parents, especially my dad set a high standard for us always. He wanted us to learn and be our best though he encouraged us in different ways. When someone tells you "no" you want something even more. When life and school was hard, my parents told me to quit and that drove me more. If it gets to hard, quit. If the test is too much, quit.

We have what we call Nazr, or the evil eye in our culture. If you praise a child too much that child is more likely to slip up or go in the opposite direction. So it would be better not to praise or condone. The best option, silence. Or in my case discouragement. I did not realize what my parents' motive was for discouraging me but today I do.

Being a parent you want your children to figure things out for themselves. They should grow up with skills that will help them in the "real world". Once you leave your home, you are in the real world.

4 comments:

Kate said...

I’ve been keeping up to date with your site, but just don’t always have time to comment (sorry). Just thought I’d say hello again so you know I’m here!
Recommended Daily Dose

Misstarii said...

Ohh I havent been here for awhile and I know I've missed out on alot, I hope you have been well.
I'm proud of you mother of the year :)

MarjnHomer said...

lol tricia. i was tryin to be sarcastic..

and kate hanke ur site is really nice and gets me thinking..thnx for visiting

Crystal said...

I am not a mother yet, but I see a pattern I have with over encouragement (with my nephew). Sometimes you need to be walked away from in order to do the right thing for yourself. I've forgotten this in my adulthood. I hope I learn enough of these lessons before I become a mother.

MarjnHomer, I like your blog a lot from what I've read so far. I joined to follow another friend's blog, but decided to drop by yours as well :)

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