Tuesday, November 24, 2009


Lately I have been reading people's signals all wrong. I thought I was getting "I hate you with all my guts" glares from someone close to me but she thought we were cool. I told my guy the other day I wanted to go see my aunt's baby, he never recalled. Am I losing it? Or is it the other people or am I not being clear enough? This is all too confusing.

Women in general, or maybe me in general need to be more clear. I have a ton of things on my mind just waiting to burst but I instead hold it all in. I hold it all in until like a volcano, waiting for it erupt. I do not know why I am doing this to myself. I have this intense pressure band wrapped around my head, right at the temples...

and then this hadith came to mind: The Holy Prophet, Muhammad sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam has said: “If a Muslim is afflicted by a headache or a prick of a thorn or any other harm, Allah will elevate him on the Day of Judgement one rank and expiate his sins due to this.”

Maybe all that I am suffering right now is meant to expiate me from my sins. The tears shed and the sleep lost to be free from sin.

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