I just watched a great episode of Super nanny where the last line she spoke stuck out to me: "Don't give up on your kids because they are all you have." I felt like she was saying this to me. Lately a lot of people have been speaking to me indirectly and it has made me feel loads better. I'll give some examples:
I was thinking a lot about death yesterday (probably because of Ugly Betty, her dad's heart attack and Private Practice, where a boy dies because his mom refused him vaccination for measles that he was spreading like crazy because she had an autistic son due to a vaccination he got when he was two). Then I kept thinking about my grandpa and where I'll be and who I'll be surrounded by when I die. To add cherry to the sundae (top it all off) I read a wonderful (though sad) entry by Controlled Chaos and it really touched my heart because it brought some closure to the sadness I felt about death. I know it seems weird but it helped me loads.
Finally, a good friend, Vernon and I were talking for over an hour last night and it felt even more wonderful to know I'm not alone in feeling crazy when my kids drive me crazy. They are super adorable, especially my Billy but once he starts crying and doesn't stop I want to pull my hair out.
Billy is huggable and lovable. The other day it was just me and him, on Muharram 10 actually, and I was on the computer and he was on top of me, falling asleep or placing his head on top of me and laughing this gorgeous laugh until he wore himself out and went to sleep. I love precious moments like those that make the craziness all melt away.