I have finally found the word to describe my stress. Its called parental stress. the stress a parent feels when they cannot control what is going on around them especially when it comes to their kids. the two older a better in terms of keeping them busy. the younger one not so much. he constantly cries. he has something called breath holding spell. and lately i have been just walking away from it until he feels normal again. some might or all might say that's bad parenting but oh well. i cannot comfort him until he gains consciousness. i cannot give him everything he demands every single time. its just not possible though some say to. those are not living with him every day.
the first time my husband seen the baby go through breath hold spell he got scared. i did too the first time around. it was dark. he was upset. he passed out and rolled his eyes around. i thought he had died. but then after mentioning it to the doctor, he explained what it was and gave me an information sheet on what to do. one is to let him go through it and not do anything. then comfort him after he seems to be getting normal again.