Monday, June 8, 2009


Saturday. the guys all went to train with Raz at the trucking place. Like 10 til maybe 330, 4 pm. It was annoying because I have not had any time with him. When I mentioned it last week that we spend no time together, he called me clingy like my sis in law. My mom and them are getting new windows and the workers were late both days like 2-3 hours. So on Saturday, everyone came over, even my daddio, who I rarely see but talk to as much as I can. Ever since my grandpa passed over a year ago, its like I want more time with my parents. More time to learn the stories of who they are and where they came from, their struggles and hardships. Basically their life histories.

My youngest sister asked hubby, "why does he ignore me and not sleep near me anymore?" His answer is that when he comes home, I'm in a deep sleep and he does not want to bother me or give me a hard time.

So back to me and my hubby. The Victoria Secret Semi Annual sale was this past weekend, and of course I have no ride to get to the mall. When you are basically due in a month's time, you need someone with you always in case your water breaks. So my chauffeur is my hubby. Sisters were busy with their own thing. He was like we will go after my mom and them leave. The house was cleared by Magrib (evening prayer) and then off they go. They guys go to the masjid to pray the evening prayer and do not get home til like 10. So no mall today.

I was mad over that promise being broken and I been very understanding this past month of them needing to finish this truck training. But when I'm ignored, I feel it and get depressed. I get so depressed my mind starts racing at all the possibilities out there.

So my guy comes home with his brothers and my brother. I go lay down on my bed and cry. thinking to my self the song, "I'm so lonely" that Carleton from Fresh Prince would sing to himself. I was tired of being ignored. Had a headache and tired of being stuck at home all week long. You need a change of scenery every now and then. you know? he comes over and ask whats wrong? Nothing is my response. I say, "don't you have to be with the guys enjoying the free time?" Nope, I'd rather be with you. "yeah right." then billy comes crying into the bed and squeezes in between us and says "no room" he's not fitting in.

My daughter stayed that night. She came with my mom and her dad wanted to see her. She was out the house the entire week. I told him I do not want to hear any screaming. So he takes her in the back while everyone leaves. She asked, "where's grandma?" I said, "grandma went home. If you want to cry you can." I do not like it when people lie to little kids to pacify them. Its easier to just pull the band-aid off and let them deal with the pain. That's only if I'm around. After five or so minutes, they are finished crying and better. Otherwise if I say, "oh, she's in the bathroom." and she's really not, they will start learning to lie and will wait for her to come out the bathroom. One sharp pull and the band-aid is off. the pain will wear away soon enough.

Later that night, me and hubby put each of them to bed. Then I sneak in next to him but my daughter's coughing had me run back into the room next to her.


Softly Spoken said...

Subhanallah Allah tests us in different ways.

Guys are guys but Alhamdulillah if they really understand Islam they understand they must give their wive's time.

There's a hadith, The best of you are those who are the best to their spouse.

Inshallah we all need to work on that.

I suggest you remind hubby of the Islamic teachings of spending time with your spouse for a healthier relationship which will ideally mean a healthier family Inshallah.

Guys can get caught up in stuff but we have to pressure them to pay attention, seriously. Both of you deserve it. It's so important.

Additionally don't start the "sleep on the couch thing" honestly talk to him about staying away from you when you sleep that's not good for your relationship in terms. Physical part of relationship is just as important as emotional; even if it means lying in the same bed. Sleeping. This will also help your communication - the most impt. part of any relationship.

May Allah make it easy and def. make dua for help from Allah. Dua is the best medicine. Allah listens to those who complain about their husbands in prayer, rather than those who complain to others. It's in the Quran. So make use of that knowledge.

Here's something you may find interesting to read and share with hubby:

Broken promises reflect hypocrisy. Try your best to keep your promises to him and remind him of his.

Wish you both the best Inshallah.

Softly Spoken said...

One more thing, don't get depressed it affects your baby. Do your best to stay strong in your iman so you're baby will stay healthy happy and be a great Muslim Inshallah.

Hope your last month is productive, easy, and rewarding.

Pregnant woman have so many opportunities to gain blessings for their hardships.

If you even pray 2 rakat nafl in the middle of the night counts 80xs more than a regular woman.

Here's some links of things you should do during pregnancy, sorry didn't share this with you before.

Blessings of pregnancy:

Softly Spoken said...

p.s. I don't mind if you delete my comments after reading them.

Faith in Writing said...

I feel so depressed when I'm ignored too. Sometimes my hub does it. Out of nowhere he goes somewhere mentally and won't talk to me or listen to what I'm saying. That's usually when I start fights, my mind races too. I think you just need to give them space, but when you're pregnant you need like 30 times normal emotional comfort sometimes. I know I did.
I think you're doing a great job with 2 kids and being pregnant by the way. I hope it all sorts out soon xx

Softly Spoken said...

"And for those who fear Allah, He(ever) prepares a way out...And He provides for him from (sources) he never could imagine. And if any one puts his trust in Allah, sufficient is ((Allah)) for him. For Allah will surely accomplish his purpose: verily, for all things has Allah appointed a due proportion (65:2-3)."

MarjnHomer said...

SS-I love the advice you put up and inshallah will try to follow them.

FIW-I need more than just reassurance from my hubby. I would like some quality time from him, thats it but he gets upset (angry) that he is giving me time but who knows...

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