heart hurts

I'm sitting at my computer and all I here is a swooooooooooshing sound. I know all the windows are closed and my kids do not have any drinks in thier hands. I look and look only to find the source is a puddle at my daughter's feet. She peed on herself and is still in the exact spot of piss for the past 7 minutes. I may be mean but she will learn her lesson not to do that again!

Too cute for words

My son has learned two new phrases and one more word with his own twist to it. I was laughing til it hurts just hearing him say it. They are: "so annoying", "I don't know" and aloo (which means potato but I think it sounds more like hello with his twist). When he says aloo, his version is closer to how Rosie O'Donnell says "hello" with her lips formed into an O.

Mirror, mirror on the wall!

The more I pay attention to my daughter, the more I realize that I am her, and she is me. For instance yesterday she was whining "why isn't grandma coming over?" in such a way that if turned back time to when I was her age, I would see myself saying the exact same thing. Today while Billy was asleep, she was bored. We decided to go outside and I told her to just run! She ran with the biggest glee on her face. Pure joy! I seem to slowly be forgetting what pure joy is...

Nothing to fear but fear itself.

My son has been super scared of animals lately. The other day we were walking around our block and out of nowhere this pit bull started barking at us from behind the fence. I got scared and wanted to run away and Billy fell in the grass from fear. I carried him home. Ever since then he's been afraid of all animals. We went to the Henry Ford Estate and he seen ducks. The ducks were far away. It was momma duck, daddy duck and two little baby ducklings. They were walking in front of us and he was screaming his head off. He kept walking behind me and my little sister. The third fear incident for him was when my sister was vacuuming. He was scared of the vacuum. I hope this fear goes away soon and he does not end up like my daughter who is scared of everything from animals to bawled up threads.

Birthday memory

Picture this: two kids, nice sunny spring day. Out on the porch with a 5 gallon bucket of chocolate swirl ice cream. Lots of messy faces but one good time.

Be careful for what you wish for. It might just come true.

Today I had a doctor's appointment and alhamdulillah everything looked good. I'm gaining weight and baby is developing well. I have an ultrasound in a couple of weeks and I will find out the weight of the baby then. I had the doctor who kept humming OK, OK to herself. We actually had a conversation this time around. She has 3 kids right now around my kids ages: 4, 2 and I forget the 3rd ones age, but I think around a year or under. She was telling to me consider IUD after this baby and to give myself and my body a well deserved break. When she put it like that I was nearly jumping to do it.

My son woke up a few minutes ago from his second nap today. He woke up early and had an early nap and was pooped out by 6pm. Woke up at 7:30 pm and started crying for his daddy. Tears streaming down his face and has not eaten in 4 hours plus dad's not around. Too much for his little heart and body to handle. So the best thing is to distract him by taking him outside with gray clouds and wind blowing and kind of freezing weather for a normal person but a pregnant girl who wants to sleep with the window open on 50 degree nights. I brought him back inside after about 10 minutes and showed him a box of thread I got for Harold. They are super miniature and the cost was 20 bucks. The picture was not shown to scale. I am not too pleased!

My mil visa expires in a couple of months but she is unsure whether to come or not. There are too many details to say and I can not go into until its resolved. to be continued....

Just another saturday....

Do you ever listen to a song over and over because it depresses you? Well the song does not really depress me but reminds me of another time and place. This is so deja vu because I mentioned this song only a couple days ago but its still playing over and over.

I am home alone with 2 kids (mine) in my mom's house for a day. I was thinking not only do I clean up after everyone at home but now with everyone gone to Canada for the day, I have to clean up after everyone in my mom's house and she's not even home. I'm so sorry for this pity fest going on this weekend. Inshallah it will get better. Just do not know when.

My daughter reminded me of all the flashing lights and helicopter that she saw last night. This helicopter was hovering and flashing its light and two police cars stopping a car at an intersection. It was crazy! My daughter is terrified of police cars. I blame that on people who scare little kids. She gets freaked out by bugs and anything resembling bugs (bawled up pieces of string, plants, anything!) Now with my son I'm trying not to use any scaring tactics to make him behave. What cruel person would do that to their kid just so the kids would do what they are told? No kid ever always does what he/she is told.

The more that I think about what kind of house I want, the more my mind settles on ranches. The houses that do not have two levels (minus the basement). With kids I do not want to be watching if they are falling down the stairs or what they are doing on another level in the house. In front of me or near me is OK as long as they are visible. My mom's house is four stories. Attic, basement, floor with kitchen and living/dining room, and the floor with bedrooms only. Just the cleaning of it is taking all morning. My bird house that I live in takes about a couple of hours to tidy up whenever I need to. That's it, just two hours! Also big houses have lots of noise and creaks that you get spooked out fast! I sure do.

What's love got to do with it....

Today I did everything possible to distract and occupy my son. For the most part he was keeping himself busy. After his dad went to work I took him outside with a full bladder (mine) in the cold rain and just walked around for half an hour. He did not want to leave. I had to pee. Eventually I told him I would let him color in his jumbo coloring book. He agreed. He wanted more than 2 crayons to scribble with. Then we played with blocks. The rain was more of a sprinkle than anything. I was praying it was not going to start pounding. It did not, thank Allah!! I would have had to run with my pregnant belly and son in heels, low flat heels. Not a pretty image. He kept complaining that water was getting on his face, yet did not want to go inside. He loves being outside hearing the dogs bark and birds flying around. He points them out and sometimes yells at them to stop! or go! Its too funny. He loves the ice cream truck when it passes by because of its music. He is one special kid that has captured my heart strings and plays music whenever he pleases.

P.S. This is not to say or validate that I love my son more than my daughter. She is precious to me too and is my first born. How can I not love that girl. Today was a day just for mother and son.

The beginning of a beautiful day...

Woke up this morning.
Had breakfast with the kids
hubby and his bros left the house by
9 am. Son is crying for dad.
Take both kids outside.
Attached to me like glue.
The sun is gorgeous, just gorgeous
against my face.
and inside I'm feeling truly happy.
The run around. We come in for lunch.
Doughnuts with milk and orange slices.
Hey its quick, for two hungry kids and me.
Both kids too quiet for their own good and
me cleaning in peace. It was a miracle!
Daughter listening to nasheeds online,
YouTube! Son playing with blocks.
Fewer tantrums and fights.
Go outside again. Daughter freaked
out by some bug!

As I'm posting this my dad leaves from
my house and my kids are crying. One because
the other pulled her hair. Son is crying because
his sister is in tears. Bubble busted!

Wishful Thinking

Don't even think about it! Otherwise it will happen. I was just thinking that I should get the key for the kitchen door and bring it here because God forbid what if my daughter locks the kitchen door. And guess what??!! She did exactly that. She locked the kitchen door and now if I need to use the bathroom I will be one with nature and use it outside.

What's this?

My daughter is very observant and remembers many things that you only have said once. (Mashallah). I might give her to madrasha based on her memory to memorize the Quran, we shall see about that, Inshallah (God willing). That is why its a good idea not to say too much in front of her because sooner or later she will remember it and repeat it. Today my older bil was telling me that my daughter is beyond her years (that she is ripe as we say in our language). He was telling me that one day she came and presented a bra to him and here is the rest in dialogue.

Daughter: What's this?
Uncle: I don't know.
Daughter: What is it? (She says this with an attitude and louder voice than before.)
Uncle: It's a bra.
Daughter: Will you buy one for me when I grow up? (She says this patting her chest.)
Uncle: You mean a t-shirt. Yes I'll buy you a t-shirt.
Daughter: No! not a t-shirt. A bra!!

Because you loved me...

My daughter Sumy was sitting in the bed next to her uncle and out of nowhere said to me, "Mom, I feel so bad for you." (Tumar lage amar ze dhuk lage--for those that know bangla).

Of course I'm puzzled as to why she would say that and so I ask her, "why?"

She said, "because you love me." (Kene tume amare bala fao)

This young girl who at times is a teenage always surprises me with her insightful and witty words.

She was so upset at the doctors today for giving her brother his one year shots that she kept yelling at them in our native language. They understood it all but probably ignored her. She was calling them crazy in the car and said we will not go to the doctor any more.

Just another Ordinary Day

Today was quite an eventful day for me. I woke up as usual and stayed up after Fajr (morning prayer) with my kids. They are very weird. They don't let me sleep in until like 10 am or something since forever. So at my appointment they did all these tests and the ultrasound. I got more pics and one is even of the baby's spine in 3-D color. It's pretty cool. The ultrasound lady said I could see the face but I just could not make it out. One of the nurses drew like a gazillion vials of blood (actually it was like 8-10) and my arm was getting numb from the band. She took a couple extra to send to the lab to check for cystic fibrosis. Then the doctor comes in and starts talking about getting an amniocentesis done too because my child could have Down''s syndrome and the only way to make sure is through the amnio. Of course I declined! I am not putting my child at risk of losing him after all this that I have been going through. To terminate someone just because they are sick or impaired is just wrong. Who knows what that person can contribute to society if you just kill it. KILL IT! Such powerful words when talking about a life. That is growing inside of you. I'm so against abortion that I will never terminate a fetus. It has life after 40 days. This is another topic that I will discuss much later when I am more comfortable.

As usual I'm optimistic that everything is great and the baby is healthy and praying to Allah to have a healthy, beautiful, full term baby. Another surprise today is that my due date was off by 10 days. 10 whole days. Someone calculated it wrong on the wheelie. Then I was pondering over the fact that if I have on 4th of July, I will deliver an American baby but then again all my kids are American being born in America, duh! Pregnancy makes your brain very dull.

My daughter is super cute. She called while I was in the doctor's office and was talking to me.
Sumy: Mom, where are you?
Me: at the doctor's
Sumy: Who's' that talking?
Me: This lady near me.
Me: The doctor took some blood from me.
Sumy: I want to see.
Me: You will when I get home.

So when I got home, she said "I want to see where they took your blood." So after I showed her, she says "don't go to the doctor any more."

Her best line of all is "OK, ok you can stop crying now."

Do Not Enter!

So as a parent, you learn a thing or two, when you have two little ones at home and no one to watch them but you. I have learned if I need to use the restroom and both are awake, we will all go to the potty at once whether we need to or not. It keeps me from worrying whether my 1 year old is injuring himself or breaking something. So right now I went to the bathroom. With my one year old and placed him in the tub. My 3 year old comes and tries to open the door. I shout "close the door" because there are two other men in the house that are not my hubby (and I dont want them seeing me on the toilet, can you imagine?). So after I shouted at her, Thing 1 (1 yr. old) starts crying and Thing 3 (3 yr old) starts making gassy noises like she is pooping outside the door. I yell "are you crapping out there?". When you ask that and get no reply, usually they are. But no she was not but just wanting to come inside and was near the bottom of the door looking in (not possible but hey a girl can try).

Side note: she pissed on herself today and her dad does not know about it. After she was done, she said "mom, I pissed on myself."

This is my life!

Story #1
My daddy is funny. He cracks me up always without even realizing it. He has become a grown up friend to me. The other day at Walmart we were at the checkout and he was pulling out his money to give the cashier. He meticuously counts it out and places it next to the credit card swip machine. He did not hand it to her but placed it in front of her. She has her hand out as if to signify "put the money in my hand" and he's pointing to the money in front of her as if to say "take it" and of course in the end he places the money in her hand. Only one thing to say about all of this is: LMAO!

Story #2
My daughter was looking at my sweater and sees a pin attached to the bottom. She's like "mom, take that pin off. It doesn't look nice. The sweater is nice but the pin isn't."

Story #3
I placed Billy in the tub to wash him after his poop and he is slipping and sliding all over the tub. I thought it was becuase it was wet but turns out some genius (maybe Sumy) put shampoo all over the tub.